We’ve all heard them. The nasty stereotypes that exist about military spouses. Lazy, entitled, crazy, unfaithful, immature, money hungry. While it’s never nice to assume, and generalize… we all know that stereotypes exist for a reason, even if that reason accounts for only 5% of the population. Here’s the thing, we are what we make of ourselves. It’s time to create a new military spouse stereotype. As Gandhi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” So now I’m going to give you the best advice I can give on how to be a good military spouse. Simply, be a good person. Less simply, continue reading below…
I remember being a little girl and looking up to women, whether fictional or real, who were tough. Tough is what we need to be. Ready to take on what life throws at us. Ready to stare fear & uncertainty in the face without flinching. Even if we’re more than just flinching on the inside… picture Rosie the Riveter and embody everything you think she stands for. (Guys, feel free to pick a male bad ass to embody…)
Let’s just lay it all out right here… this shit isn’t easy. We move constantly, we continuously switch back and forth between parenting alone and parenting with a partner, we don’t have family close by to call on, we have to make new friends and start our lives over constantly. Though we prove over and over again that we are more than capable of doing it all alone, that doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting and lonely. Be the person you need at your worst moment. Be more than willing to help. Make someone dinner, lend someone a hand, bring someone coffee and and let them rant about their day.
You were talking to an acquaintance and they mentioned something important. A job interview coming up, an important doctor’s appointment in the near future, whatever. Remember it. Check back in a few days to see how it went. You’ll be surprised how much something so little can brighten someone’s day and make them feel a little less alone in the world.
Be A Force to Be Reckoned With
In a good way. Not in the start a full blown protest outside the Company Commanders office because your spouse is working through dinner every night way. Be the person who’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to help someone in need. Be the person who’s the calm in the eye of someone else’s storm. Be someone who is not easily walked over, but is easily approached.
Be Your Own Person
Give yourself a reason to be proud of yourself, and only yourself. Not you as a wife (or husband), not you as a mom (or dad), not you as a military spouse, just you. Chase your dreams, serve your community, serve your country all on your own.
Everyone has their own crosses to bear. No one owes you anything. Take advantage of the benefits provided to you, be grateful they are there.
We should be known for our bad ass-ery, and our willingness to take care of our own and have each other’s backs. We should be known for our bravery, and silent self sacrifice, and resilience.
If you want to know how to be the best military spouse you can be, here it is.
Make this the new military spouse stereotype. Make a community that you wish to live in. Make this life and it’s hardships and it’s glories worth living. Be the military spouse you need in your life.
Be tough, be kind, be caring, be humble, and be a force to be reckoned with.
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